Tuesday, January 24, 2012

What it Means to be Married

There’s some exciting news on the Porcupine front. For starters, Mr. P got a new job (wahoo!). It's a better position for his long-term goals, IN the city (he was working in a different borough), and much better hours/he'll actually get national holidays off.

One of the most interesting comments I think he got when he put in his resignation was, “are you sure you want to do this now? You’re about to get married.”

It got me thinking what some people think “married” means. Does it mean staying in a stable job and turning down other opportunities for the sake of a guaranteed paycheck? Is it really still the norm for a man to stay at a job for the sole purpose of “providing for his family?” When you take a step back from that whole “about to get married thing,” Mr. P and I are only 26 years old. We have no children. We have no mortgage. We have no real debt except for my college loans. Even though I sometimes have no idea how I got to my mid-20s, we’re for the most part still at the beginning of our careers. If you’ve already “made it” at 26 (Mark Zuckerberg, *grumble, grumble*), that’s pretty awesome, but like most we’re still climbing the ladder and figuring it out. So, if we don’t take chances now, when will we?

I would never tell Mr. P to stay at a job just for the paycheck. As I mentioned before, Mr. P was the bread winner for awhile (but not always), so yes, it’s a little bit scary- that vast unknown of a new job, but in the long run it’s for the better. I’ve definitely learned in life that there are no guarantees. No job, no paycheck, no sum of money in the bank is promised to you tomorrow. If money is what makes you, it will certainly break you. And, if you don't take chances, you'll always be in a state of "buhhhh."

Mr. P still has many goals he wants to accomplish. For one, he wanted to get into the industry his new job is in. So, yes he’ll be back at bottom of the totem pole, but how else would he break into a new industry? At some point he will be going back for his MBA, so that will change-up things yet again. There probably will not be a set constant for the next 5 or so years of our life except for the fact that we’ll be husband and wife.

If there’s one thing I’ve learned from this whole getting engaged and married period of life is that the illusion that married people are “settled” is completely old school. Maybe if we got married at 35 or 40, we would have it more figured out, but the cards didn’t pan out that way. It’ll be nice to know that as we both figure out this weird world, we’ll have each other. And, I think that’s the point.

Did you or your significant other go through a job change right before getting married?

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