Tuesday, October 18, 2011

Negative Nelly Syndromatic Psychosis

In case you haven't noticed by now I have a super dry sense of humor. I'm also overly realistic. Mr. Porcupine likes to remind me that I am using the wrong "tic," and that in reality I am overly pessimistic. Whatever, such a literalist. If I had only gotten a degree in psychology I might have been able to pinpoint a new disorder with lots of grant-funded research that I like to call: Negative Nelly Syndromatic Psychosis. (Yes, I completely made that crap up.)

The thing is, yes, Mr. P is probably right. I don't know why the hell I'm like this. I haven't had enough bad crap happen to me in life to be sooo jaded (minus that time I got laid off twice in 1 and 1/2 years, and that other time I got mugged the eve of Christmas Eve-so what if I'm Jewish, Jesus was pissed!) Obviously this is a really fun mentality to have wired into your DNA when you're a bride.

Basically I will find one little detail of my life that is pissing me off and hold that over every other good thing going on. Suddenly everything positive is immediately discounted. Even if there is a ratio of 1 shitty life happening to 25 good life happenings, I will find a way to feel overly depressed about that 1 little thing. Currently my life peeve is that we may be moving sooner than anticipated (because, hi, we JUST moved 4 months ago), and this is sending me into a whirlwind of annoyance. HATE moving, moving is expensive, where do we even go, finding a place is stressful, I wanted to wait until AFTER the wedding to move again so we'd have some funding for new furniture, I hate touching our savings, ETC. Completely discounting: wahoo I got a raise, we're going to a destination wedding in Mexico soon, I love Fall, my own wedding events are finally coming up, I'm very fortunate to have parents/in-laws that are gifting us our wedding, Mr. P and I are both employed, Taco Thursday....

So, yes, I tend to let little things get me down even when a lot of other good stuff is going on. I'm trying to turn that off so that by the day of the wedding if it's raining, hailing, I'm bloated, a wild turkey runs onto my ceremony (I dunnoz it's PA- they have turkeys?), or a bird craps on my forehead I can just laugh. Most likely I will be fine and dandy minus a few minor meltdowns that I'm sure will occur when I have a giant zit on my cheek and a puffed-out hair-day. Sorry, that was my N.N.S.P. pipping in.

The trick to N.N.S.P. is that I only have it towards my own life/wedding. Every time someone else tells me something shitastic happening to them I always point out the good stuff counteracting it. For instance, as my good friend via the New Yawk wedding unloaded a lot of wedding stress on me, I was annoyingly handy with a happy comeback. (Sorry, you will have to do this for me now.) When it threatened to rain through her pre-wedding pictures I collected a bunch of cute rainboot and umbrella pictures from wedding blogland and sent them off to her. If someone did this to me I would probably tell them to take a jog in a swamp (lovingly).

So, how does one shake their N.N.S.P.? I swear on the new season of the Real Housewives of Atlanta (premiering soon, YAY!) that I am trying my best to be more POSITIVE, HAPPY, and PRECIOUS. I am revolting against all my DNA swirlygigs (technical term) to think of shiny, bright meadows when it comes to wedding stressors.

Anyone else suffer from N.N.S.P. when thinking of their wedding day (or life)?

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