Porcupines Take on Hawaii- The Arrival

I'm just waiting patiently for our CD of images to start on our recaps. Before I jump in on those, I thought it would be fun to start off with our amazing honeymoon in Hawaii.

As soon as we started talking honeymoon, the first place that came to my mind was Hawaii. Being from New York, it’s not exactly the quickest place to get to. Like most New Yorkers our vacation spots tend to be on the Atlantic side of the ocean, and lean more towards a 4-hour flight (Mexico, Bahamas, Florida, etc.) as opposed to the 12ish hours it takes to get over to Hawaii. What better reason to sit on a plane(s) for 12 hours and go across the country than your honeymoon though- right? 

Surprisingly, the longest flight of my life was not the worst. I’m not a good flyer. I generally hate flying and mentally wish my family and friends a final goodbye when I get on a plane. Every sound the plane makes gives me flashbacks to the cast of Lost being sucked out of their plane and plopped onto “the Island.” But, I digress. Thanks to my father-in-law and his frequent flier miles, we got to fly first class! I wish we could always fly first class. It was A-MAZ-ING. And, being given free meals, fluffy blankets, and snacks makes you forget you are up-teen-thousand miles in the air flying over America. What up creepy desert?

What in the freak is going on down there in the desert?

Yes, more mai tais!

We picked the Big Island after much deliberation when we first started planning, and flew into Kona International Airport after a short layover in LA (seriously- where were all the celebrities sitting in first class? I NEVER see anyone!) We were completely MIND BOGGLED when we landed. The airport is completely open and looks more like a zoo or theme park than anything else. 

We rented a Jeep, which I must recommend, because driving around Hawaii with the Jeep’s top down is a once in a lifetime experience. As we drove the 20 minutes to our hotel, we were amazed to see how sparse the land looked. It resembled Mars as we drove along the highway to our hotel.

We stayed at the really beautiful Mauna Lani Bay Hotel. After checking in and trying to somehow organize our stuff, we didn't have much time for more than a light dinner before I crashed from the jet-lag. Mrs. Porcupine + a 6 hour time difference + 12/13 hours of travel = I DO NOT WANT TO BE AWAKE. I felt like high hell and didn't have much energy to look around. Luckily, our flight started at 9 AM and by the time we were done with dinner it was 9 PM Hawaii time (an early bedtime there, but a very late bedtime in NYC.) I slept off all the jet-lag for what was going to be a very jam packed honeymoon.

Porcupines Pick Their Person

Our wedding weekend came and went and it was perfectly US.

I was always highly cynical of people who said, “Don’t worry; NOTHING can ruin your day.” But, I can definitely attest to the fact that the sentence is incredibly true. I’ll be straight-up and say nothing was *perfect*. It’s fitting though. I have never believed in perfection. Perfection is boring, and the random things that happen to us are always hilarious stories later on.

The whole weekend was full of the weird snafus that happen in my daily life and, frankly, I didn’t really care. From the monster cystic zit under my nose, to the antibiotic I took that gave me a horrible stomach ailment starting at 5 AM the day of the wedding, to messing up a move in our first dance number (oh, yes, we did a dance number-more to come), and our chalkboard cake flavors getting lost in the mix... it was still an absolute fantastic weekend.

It never rained. Everyone raved about our ceremony. People kept telling us how much they loved our venue and details. My dress zipped up perfectly. We laughed all weekend long. We danced all night and even DJed for a bit. We ate leftover hors’ devours and challah bread post-wedding in the hotel lobby. And, most importantly of all, my best friend for the past 5 years became my husband.

I will tell you this as I stand on “the other side.” Things will go wrong. People may not show. People may disappoint you. You might break out. You will forget a picture or two you meant to take. But, it will not matter. None of that will matter when it’s all said and done. It is really true... nothing can ruin your day when it's truly yours.

**all pictures are by friends, posted with permission

Rain, Rain, Pick a Ding Dong Day!!

During planning everyone cautioned me that March is a wacky month with weather. One year there was a snow storm the last week of March. One March it rained cats and dogs every weekend. One year in March aliens descended the planet and looted villages. You know, uplifting tales. I really appreciated these stories, thank you. But, for whatever reason, this is the one thing I was not stressed out about during planning. I figured you can’t control the weather and since everything is covered/indoors it wouldn’t be the end of the world if it snowed or rained. Cue to one week to go before the wedding.

I am losing my ding dong brainz. I tried to post the 10-day forecast for you all, but guess what... it literally changes every 20 minutes. At one point it said 60% chance of rain, 20 minutes later it said 40% chance, and now it says it's not going to rain- but it's going to pour the day after. I can't take this back and forth, mother nature!! I have cramps from my neck down to my kneecaps! (Literally...I tried to move my new really heavy bed and something is not right with my knee.)

The East Coast has been having the most bizarre March ever. You know that phrase “In like a lion, out like a lamb.” Well, it has come in like a lamb and that lamb has been baa baa-ing all month long. It has been the mildest March I can ever remember. It has been sunny and lovely, and I haven’t even worn a jacket for most of the month, but BAM for our wedding weekend it has to be a temperamental little toddler.

WHHYY!!??

But, alas, I mentally smacked myself in the face and came to my senses. For one, weather can change at the drop of a dime as proven from the ninety results I have already found. And, for two, I really love the idea of cute umbrellas, so if it stays rainy on the forecast I can easily run across the street from work to pick up some cute cheap-o umbrellas at H&M. Or, Duane Reade. Or, from the mysterious umbrella street salesmen of NYC that pop-up out of the sidewalk or something once a drizzle begins. Fo' real- where do these people appear from??

Image via Snippet and Ink/Photography by Leo Patrone Photography

Image via Inspiredbythis.com/Photography by Millie Holloman

Are you worried about a rainy wedding?

A Pale Bride

On a normal day I am pretty pale. I’m a redhead and I have very fair skin. I’ve always sort of hated being pale. Over the years I have definitely been suckered into the tanning craze. Unlike some redheads, I do indeed get tan. But, before I get tan, I get extremely red. For many redheads the red fades back into white, but if I stick to it I do indeed get brown.

The year of the tan, my junior year of college

I’m ashamed to admit that for about three years in college I ignored all the warnings and went tanning every now and again. I went to college on Long Island. A school made up of mostly New Yorkers and New Jersey kids. Tan is IN in that neck of my woods. Jersey Shore is no lie. (And, yes I have seen shades of orange that go beyond anything Snookie and Pauly D. have been.)

My friends and I would always buy a 3-month package right before spring breaks and sorority formals. No one dared to be pale in the copious amount of pictures we would take. No one thought anything of it. At the time it was pretty cheap and everyone looks "healthier" with a tan. For a few years I wouldn't get into a dress without one.

 Tanning membership + a week in Acapulco

Looking back now I realize I was an idiot. We all know that there is nothing worse than fake and bake. But, like smoking and eating Twinkies, sometimes people just ignore the blatant danger because we inherently think “oh, XYZ won’t happen to me, and if it does I’ll worry about it then.”

I just can’t bring myself to lie under a tanning bed anymore knowing what I know about the risks involved. I also can’t bring myself to spray tan. Although I can’t knock it, because I’ve never tried a professional one,  I am pretty scared of looking like Lindsay Lohan on a bad day. Because I am naturally pale self-tanning products tend to look a little too orange on me. I also don’t want to have to even *think* about rubbing off on my white wedding gown or seeing weird streaks/fading in pictures.

So I have decided I am going PALE-O COMMAND-O. Winter skin pale. Anyone who lives in a cold climate knows that scary sickly level of white us non-tanners get to by the time March rolls around. I’ve looked at a few pictures lately and thought, “hot damn, I look dead!”

 Not tan & I was wearing bronzer, oy

I like to tell myself that the light, makeup, and overall glow of being a bride will not make me regret my decision. I’m hoping for a few rays of light to absorb into my face/neck before the big day. On the bright side a long wedding dress= my pasty white legs are covered. So, thank petunias for that. My legs look like they were ripped off a zombie bride corpse right now. (Plus, they are covered in greening bruises from moving and being an overall animal.)

Are you going the au-natural pale route on your wedding day or will you be tanning/spray-tanning?

The Showering of the Porcupine

A few weeks before the wedding my mom and bridesmaids threw a bridal shower for me. I don't know if this is just a "thing" among my family and friends, but the tradition is to keep the whole thing a surprise. Obviously, I knew it was coming at some point and time, but I didn't know when. For whatever reason this tradition lives on even though there are very few brides I've heard of that ever manage to be completely surprised. It's just too hard to not realize what is going on.

Bridesmaid Blondey established a story about going out to brunch one Sunday to meet her new guy. It seemed plausible until it occurred to me that there weren't any more weekends left in February. And, it was slipped to me that my shower was going to take place that month. Regardless, I was surprised by the day as a whole: friends and family that made the trip near and far and the beautiful restaurant my sister had picked out for the day.

Mr. P bringing me into the room

My MIL-to-be and my Mom

All the grandmas!

We took something like 950 photos. I was continuously warned that this would be nothing compared to the photo-fest of the wedding. After saying hello to everyone I could catch, we sat down and got to one of my favorite things….

Cheese cubes.

Everyone knows I am a sucker for some cheese. Appetizers were a mixture of cheese and fruit, bruschetta, and bread with a red pepper aioli sauce. For the main course I had a cheeseburger on an English muffin with some of the best french fries I've had in awhile, but there was also a French toast or Ceasar salad option.

The theme for the day was peacock to go with the rest of the wedding. 

This peacock feather towel cake from Bridesmaid Kitty acted as a centerpiece on the entrance table

A cute little bride and groom bird on the centerpieces

After we ate it was time for the whirlwind of opening presents. Luckily I had Mr. P's cousin, one of our flower girls, as my little helper. She took charge helping me unwrap big presents and tossing the paper to the side. 

My bridesmaids are pros at the shower process. The system we have all learned/mastered through the years:

• Sit bride on chair
• Have a few bridesmaids on one side of the bride to start ripping of the gift wrapping paper at the tricky corners
• Pass the almost-open present to the bride
• Bride passes the wrapping paper to a bridesmaid with a trash bag on the other side of her 
• One bridesmaid takes note of everything the bride gets and who the gifts are from
• When it's possible bridesmaids tape the cards to the presents 

We were like a machine. While presents were opened all the guests had a Bridal Bingo board. Every time I opened a present represented on their Bingo card they "X"-ed it off until it formed a line in the typical Bingo fashion. The winning guests got little gifts and prizes.

After presents were unwrapped we ended the day with some really yummy cake and more pictures. We played one more game- the Purse Game, where guests go down a checklist of items they may or may not have in their purse. The more items (and the more ridiculous) you have the more points you get. Flash drive anyone?

My bridesmaids and I

My sister/maid-of-honor and I

It truly went so fast that felt as if just five minutes had passed by the time it was time to load the cars and go. I am hoping the wedding doesn't feel that way- even though I am told it does.

Was your shower a surprise? Or, did you know about it the whole time?

Bachelorette In the City

When it came to my bachelorette party, I knew I wanted one thing in particular: pure ridiculousness.

Wedding planning has been hectic and crazy. I really just wanted a night to be carefree and have some fun. I also didn’t want to have to travel for my bachelorette party. Since the wedding is taking place outside of NYC, I wanted the bachelorette party to take place at home. When you live in a city people take the time to travel to for their own celebrations it seemed silly to hold my bachelorette party anywhere else. I wanted a purely traditional bachelorette. Bars, bridal sashes, dancing, and inappropriateness.

The night started at my best friend’s house.

Bridesmaid Blondey and I have been friends since High School, and she has been planning my bachelorette party since what seems like the moment Mr. P and I got engaged.

There was a ton of food to eat including wraps, chicken fingers, pigs in a blanket, penne ala vodka, and pizza bagels. We filled up for a long night of drinking.

The pre-game bar 

After everyone arrived we played a few games to get the night started. My favorite/least favorite game was the traditional one where the bride has to answer questions the groom has already answered about the bride and their relationship. Whenever I got a question wrong I had to stick a Razzle in my mouth- which I swear I never even knew existed until this night. Am I the only weirdo who had no idea what this hybrid gum/candy was?

Losing miserably

Needless to say I got many of the questions wrong thanks to some TRICKY answers given by Mr. P. For instance: What traffic sign would Ms. P be?; Mr. P's answer: A broken traffic light blinking every light at the same time. What's up with that!?

At around 10 PM the party bus showed up and I was blown away!

I made everyone take the prom lineup limo shot

This bus was insane! It's a Coach bus that had the inside gutted to look like a lounge with plush leather seats, a great stereo system, and even a flat screen TV! I wish we could always travel like this for a night out. It sure beats a cab or the subway.

Bridesmaid Little and I looking civilized on the bus

We had a lot of fun on the bus blasting Work Wife's Spotify playlist. Nicki Minaj's Starships will forever remind me of my bachelorette party. I think we put that one on re-play one too many times. We stopped at three bars in the city. There was plenty of dancing, laughing, drinks, and like all good nights: a bartender threatening to call the cops on Bridesmaid Blondey. (Long story, but she thought he was holding her ID hostage, but I had it the whole time.) The quote of the night had to be her response to the threat, "CALL THE COPS? I AM the cops!"

 Bridesmaid Roomie and I 

 

Candids at the 2nd bar

My favorite pic of the night. You can clearly see us lurching backward as the bus driver jammed on the breaks as we were dancing around the bus

Sleepytime on the way home

The night was exactly what I imagined my bachelorette party to be, and I feel really lucky to have a great bridal party to throw such a fun night for me. Great friends old and new; and near and far made it out. Even Bridesmaid Kitty, who had spent a night in the hospital a few days prior for a crazy stomach virus, managed to come out to the pre-party portion.

I wish I could do it one more time. I am already looking forward to spending the big day with all these ladies as well.

Do you want to have a traditional bachelorette party or did you go a different route for your "last night out as a single lady?"

Porcupines Return from the Circus!

The circus of life that is. Life has been a whirlwind lately, but I am officially back on the planet now. I swear I have a good excuse for being sucked into a big old black hole.

One (main) reason is this:

Personal photo of the mayhem

Yes, we moved- again! It's a long, short, non-interesting story, but we will be at this place for a good long while, thank sweet sunny petunias, because moving is HORRENDOUS. However, hiring movers and renting plastic boxes from Jugglebox makes life 10,000 times easier. Now, to just get to unpacking our life. Mix into that finishing up last minute wedding planning (we are down to days my friends!!!), and it’s been a little vomit-inducing in the Porcupine world (hmm, DO porcupines vomit?).

On top of all this I haven’t had a quiet weekend for as long as I can remember. The last few consisted of bridal showering (and not just me), bacheloretting, packing, and moving! I can’t even put into words how excited I am for things to die down. Our honeymoon in Hawaii is much needed, and after that I am more than ready to sit on my couch and eat Cheetos with no to-dos burning a hole through my head.

I have so much to share, and for starters I'll give you a look at the fun and foolery that was my bachelorette party. My bridal shower was the weekend before, but I thought we could unfold this story backwards, because who doesn't like a little rewind every now and than?

Personal Photo

This photo pretty much sums up the evening in a nutshell. I had a great time bar hopping in the city with amazing bridesmaids and friends. It went so fast and I can't wait to re-live it on the Bee. And, now that I can stop packing and calling cable companies, movers, etc. I can breath long enough to remember to replace my slippers with boots when I leave my apartment.

Are you planning on moving before your big day? God speed!