Shoebalism

When I first thought of wedding shoes, I thought "mmm, k."

I am not a shoe girl. I have never paid more than maybe 75 bucks for a pair of dressy shoes. I think the most expensive pair of shoes I own are my Uggs. Does that count? And, yes, I don't care how "uggly" they are, I love me some Uggs.

Early on in planning I decided I wanted my something blue to be my shoes. Plus, factoring in our peacock/blue color scheme I thought it made a lot of sense.

Apparently I am unconsciously trying to BE Carrie Bradshaw on my wedding day (minus the part where my groom loses his ish and ditches me, only to propose later with some Manolos), because not only did she have the blue shoes, but she also had that peacock thing going on.

Image via Bitten and Bound

The infamous Sex and the City Manolos via Neiman Marcus

Oh boo, I swear I did not do this intentionally. I am much more of a Charlotte. Oh, well. There are worse comparisons in life.

My one hurdle in this blue shoe shopping game has been that I can't decide if I want to commit to blue flats. Mr. Porcupine is only about four inches taller than me, and I don't want to tower over him in pictures. I can't seem to find too many low heel/wedge options that are blue.  And, besides for all that height garbage, I really love the idea of blue flats. Lord knows I will be kicking off any sort of heels I wear once the dancing gets underway.

So far there are a few shoes in the running that I keep putting off buying. I keep waiting for a shoe to pop up out of nowhere that beats all of these. But, with my first fitting slowly creeping up, I think it's time I just pick some shoes and be done with it.

An affordable navy low heeled Nina shoe via endless.com which would work 

perfectly with a peacock shoeclip

A not so affordable Badgley Mischka flat via endless.com

Sparkly flat via endless.com

Another good option to wear with a peacock shoe clip via DSW

Me Too blue flats via Zappos

Stop TORTURING me Kate Spade via Zappos

If I could rationalize spending a lot of money I would have Kate Spades sent directly to my door. But, I don't think I can really find a good reason to ever spend that much money on something people will barely see on my wedding day.  

To flat or not to flat? Anyone have a favorite from these (minus those Kate Spades I can NOT afford)? Any online shoe shop suggestions (minus Zappos, Endless, and DSW which I've covered)? 

Negative Nelly Syndromatic Psychosis

In case you haven't noticed by now I have a super dry sense of humor. I'm also overly realistic. Mr. Porcupine likes to remind me that I am using the wrong "tic," and that in reality I am overly pessimistic. Whatever, such a literalist. If I had only gotten a degree in psychology I might have been able to pinpoint a new disorder with lots of grant-funded research that I like to call: Negative Nelly Syndromatic Psychosis. (Yes, I completely made that crap up.)

The thing is, yes, Mr. P is probably right. I don't know why the hell I'm like this. I haven't had enough bad crap happen to me in life to be sooo jaded (minus that time I got laid off twice in 1 and 1/2 years, and that other time I got mugged the eve of Christmas Eve-so what if I'm Jewish, Jesus was pissed!) Obviously this is a really fun mentality to have wired into your DNA when you're a bride.

Basically I will find one little detail of my life that is pissing me off and hold that over every other good thing going on. Suddenly everything positive is immediately discounted. Even if there is a ratio of 1 shitty life happening to 25 good life happenings, I will find a way to feel overly depressed about that 1 little thing. Currently my life peeve is that we may be moving sooner than anticipated (because, hi, we JUST moved 4 months ago), and this is sending me into a whirlwind of annoyance. HATE moving, moving is expensive, where do we even go, finding a place is stressful, I wanted to wait until AFTER the wedding to move again so we'd have some funding for new furniture, I hate touching our savings, ETC. Completely discounting: wahoo I got a raise, we're going to a destination wedding in Mexico soon, I love Fall, my own wedding events are finally coming up, I'm very fortunate to have parents/in-laws that are gifting us our wedding, Mr. P and I are both employed, Taco Thursday....

So, yes, I tend to let little things get me down even when a lot of other good stuff is going on. I'm trying to turn that off so that by the day of the wedding if it's raining, hailing, I'm bloated, a wild turkey runs onto my ceremony (I dunnoz it's PA- they have turkeys?), or a bird craps on my forehead I can just laugh. Most likely I will be fine and dandy minus a few minor meltdowns that I'm sure will occur when I have a giant zit on my cheek and a puffed-out hair-day. Sorry, that was my N.N.S.P. pipping in.

The trick to N.N.S.P. is that I only have it towards my own life/wedding. Every time someone else tells me something shitastic happening to them I always point out the good stuff counteracting it. For instance, as my good friend via the New Yawk wedding unloaded a lot of wedding stress on me, I was annoyingly handy with a happy comeback. (Sorry, you will have to do this for me now.) When it threatened to rain through her pre-wedding pictures I collected a bunch of cute rainboot and umbrella pictures from wedding blogland and sent them off to her. If someone did this to me I would probably tell them to take a jog in a swamp (lovingly).

So, how does one shake their N.N.S.P.? I swear on the new season of the Real Housewives of Atlanta (premiering soon, YAY!) that I am trying my best to be more POSITIVE, HAPPY, and PRECIOUS. I am revolting against all my DNA swirlygigs (technical term) to think of shiny, bright meadows when it comes to wedding stressors.

Anyone else suffer from N.N.S.P. when thinking of their wedding day (or life)?

New Yawk State of Mind

A New York wedding can be many things. A traditional New York wedding consists of TONS of delicious food, is held in a beautiful chandeliered ballroom, and consists of lots and lots of partying. I mentioned before that I don’t want a traditional New York wedding and am going for a more rustic-chic look. This is not to say that I don’t LOVE attending a New York-style wedding. I've found that they are some of the best to go to, but I may be a little bias on that. I thought I would give the Hive a taste of what a “New York style” wedding is, something that Miss Fox and I mentioned that may have left people from other parts of the United States/Earth stumped. Plus, who doesn’t love some wedding visuals on Weddingbee?

Here goes! Let's refer to my friends as Mr. and Mrs. Bear. I’ve known the Bears for quite some time. Mr. Bear and I went to High School together, and then we moved onto the same college. Mrs. Bear was my first college friend (after my roommate). Sometime during the first week of freshmen year I had a dorm party. Mr. and Mrs. Bear both attended, met each other, and the rest is history! So, if you’re counting, that would mean they have been together for almost 8 years. We have all been waiting patiently for this wedding day. Prepare for picture overload!

The day was pretty dreary until right before the ceremony was set to begin. The sun came out just in time for them to get all those first look/wedding party pics. Good karma juju at its best!

The sun coming out on the beautiful property at The Swan Club

The ceremony space

Here comes the Bride with her Pops

Married!

After the ceremony we moved onto the cocktail hour, which is notoriously a meal in itself. Cocktail hour consisted of a pasta bar, an array of meats, eggplant parmesan, sausage and peppers, short ribs, hummus, cheeses, a huge seafood boat, and paella (I'm sure I'm missing a few key items as well).

Various dishes being served at cocktail hour

Pasta bar

Seafood Boat with a huge castle ice sculpture

For dinner and dancing we moved into the ballroom, which was decked out with a purple Fall theme.

Photo via The Swan Club because it was too dark for me to get a good shot

 on my crappy point and shoot

Pumpkin centerpieces

The guest tree guestbook and table numbers

Cards went into the white pumpkin

After a cantaloupe and prosciutto appetizer and salad we had four options for dinner. I went for the steak.

Yes, that is one serving of steak!

And, of course there was a lot of dancing.

Mrs. Bear and I taking a break on the dance floor

After the garter toss

Wedding cake cutting time

An infamous part of any New York wedding is the Venetian hour which consists of TONS of dessert options. Along with the red velvet wedding cake there were cakes, pastries, fruit, an ice cream bar, and mousse just to name some of the array of treats.

Venetian Hour goodness!

I went with mousse (with sprinkles, I'm a child), black forest cake and chocolate covered strawberries

Happy Wedding Day Bears!

It was a really fun evening. It reminded me that I better get a move on with my own wedding planning. I have used this wedding and an upcoming destination wedding for another good friend as a point of reference for when I need to seriously start planning. My motto for so long has been "well after everyone else gets married I'll worry about that..." I guess it's time to start worrying about "that."

**all photos are personal except where noted

Accessories Addict

I have a problem I need to own up to. I have a serious addiction to all things accessories. My need for accessories can not be quelled. For one, I thought this would be a good organization solution:

Personal photo of my lame closet

It’s now a tangled mess, and that’s just a touch of the mass heap I own.

You know I’m having a bad day if I haven’t put in the effort to add a necklace or earrings into the mix. Less accessories=stay away. So, it seems only fitting that I should stock up on wedding day accessories.

To start, I bought this on a whim after a particularly good sale on DSW’s online wedding shop. I’m not entirely sure how I feel about it in-person. It mighttt be a little too sequiny grandma-ish (I think my grandma actually pawned something similar off to me), but I strangely like it. It’ll be useful for holding some tissues, a compact, bobby pins and the like, and fits in with the peacockness of everything.

Then, a friend found this ring at the awesome seasonal Lee Angel sample sale. They manufacture the jewelry for a lot of stores, such as JCrew and Ann Taylor. I thought it would go perfect, and I’ll be sure to slip it on after the ceremony.

As my shoe hunt begins, I’m leaning towards doing a peacock shoe clip on a simple blue flat or low heeled shoe. I have one bookmarked away on Etsy to purchase soon.

Image via 2cutebowsdesigns on Etsy

Deciding on necklace/earrings will be my biggest challenge because I am a serious nutcase. I can’t decide if I should do the traditional pearl studs and pearl necklace, or get a little bit wackier. And, by wackier I don't mean a spike necklace or leather choker. I mean something chunky and trendy along the lines of Mrs. Panther's awesome Lee Angel necklace. That is a task for another day though.

I can’t help it. I love accessories. Almost more than clothes, and definitely more than shoes.

Do you have wedding day accessories picked out yet?

Well, how the heck did he pop the question?

I am going to interrupt this planning journey to take a stroll back in time (over a year ago, holy cow!) to tell you the story of how the Porcupines got engaged. I apparently blacked out for a moment when I was telling you about how we met and how Mr. Porcupine got the ring. I just stopped there, and went right into our planning journey, without even telling you the story of how the engagement went down.

Well, for starters, it was my 25th birthday (never saw that one coming.) I always thought it would be a more low-key engagement. Wrong! My birthday fell on a Sunday and we had gone out the night before with our friends. Here’s an idea of how the night went.

So, yeahhhh, it was a bacon, egg, and cheese/pure grease down my gullet kind of morning.

Mr. Porcupine had let me know he had plans to take me out to a nice restaurant in the city on Sunday (my actual birthday). He wouldn’t tell me where it was though. Only that I should dress-up. I had a dress and everything. AND pearls. I was feeling fancy.

I don’t remember what I did that day. I think I sat around like a bum. Come mid-afternoon I begged Mr. Porcupine to drive to dinner because the restaurant was all the way uptown, and Sunday craptastic Subway service + feeling less then stellar = WAH. He was being a major freakazoid all day, but finally agreed. So, I took my sweet time getting ready. More lagging around. Iron a strand of hair. Put eye make-up on one eye. Lag. Put make-up on the next eye. Etc.

Mr. Porcupine was getting really freakin’ antsy at this point. I had one nagging thought of, “Is he going to propose on my birthday??” But, I honestly never thought he’d propose on a pre-existing holiday (like my birth). Finally, I finish lagging, Mr. Porcupine pulls out a large box from his closet and out the door we go.

We go downstairs and BAM a limo! I didn’t even get a picture of it because I was in mass confusion. A limo looked so silly on our little narrow block full of brownstones, across from a Laundromat. I was all, “Huh, WHAT is this doing here?” So, Mr. Porcupine explains it’s for us, and I immediately felt like puking (in a good way). If he’s not proposing, I thought, he is mentally deranged for getting us a limo on my birthday!

Lo and behold, we get in the limo, and he doesn’t even wait for the driver to put up the partition between the driver and us. He tosses the giant box at me and makes me open the card. I read it, and it ends with, “this year for your birthday I have a very important question to ask….” He pops out the ring box (sneaky giant box decoy) and just stares at me, ghost-faced. NO QUESTION! In typical Miss Porcupine fashion, I say, “YOU HAVE TO ASK THE QUESTION!” So, he does, and then continues to stare blankly, so I had to put the ring on my own finger. Only us!

At this point the limo pulls out, and I am so excited, ready to call all my friends when Mr. Porcupine informs me everyone knows! Everyone knew for quite some time. And those who didn’t know, he had told the night before while we were out for my birthday. He just can not keep big news like that to himself. The only people who didn’t know? My parents and my sister! They were on vacation, and it took a half an hour to get a hold of them as they were lounging by the pool.

We drove around Manhattan for awhile and finally pull up to Park Avenue Summer, a really nice restaurant that changes its menu and name by the season. It was a really yummy meal and a beautiful restaurant. A great end to an exciting birthday.

My hunched-back gremlin pose

Really cool dessert

 

Official engaged photo (not sure what happened with the awkward cardigan button)

Did your engagement catch you off guard?

*all pictures are personal

The Love/Hate Registry Conundrum

If there is one piece of advice I can give on registries, it would be: do NOT register anywhere until the last possible moment. A month before your bridal shower invites go out will do just fine. If you’re having an engagement party I would recommend making a “mini-registry” for it. Then go back and do a full out wedding registry later.

Seriously, I am not being a crazy rebellious bride. I speak from annoying experience. In the past five months more items have gone discontinued off our registries then I think we even registered for.

Mr. Porcupine and I decided to register at Crate and Barrel and Bed, Bath, & Beyond. Then, after subtle pressure from friends and family, we decided to register at Macy's too, since some people live, die, and swear by Macy's (and their wondrous sales.) I don’t blame anyone- Macy’s has kickass sales.

Mistake #1: Having more than two registries.

We started our "Registry Day" with a stop at Crate & Barrel. It was the first stop so we were bright and fresh.

Personal Photo

The store we went to is a pretty small location in Soho, so there wasn’t too much of a chance to get overwhelmed by the selection. I love everything in that store. It’s a sickness. Funny part is, I will probably end up deleting this registry and transferring everything over to Bed, Bath, and Beyond’s, because their crap is all the same! Why you ask? Because the HOLY GRAIL is starting a registry program. More on that later.

Then we were off to Bed, Bath, and Beyond.

Mistake #2: Entering a flagship location to register.

Do NOT do this. DO NOT, I repeat, enter a flagship location and think you'll be able to leave without having a mental breakdown. Seriously, this was the worst idea. Also, the registry consultant was the bane of my existence. We had to handwrite out the registry information form. Then she had to enter everything into the computer to set us up. (Unlike Crate & Barrel where you do the computer entry yourself.) Can you talk about typos GALORE? This woman typed my password to the registry SO wrong, my last name wrong, and our wedding date wrong (as in it was off by about five months!) Thanks lady! She also kept us waiting for a literal half hour for the damn scanner (they were not crowded at the registry table) as she blundered around like a scatterbrain. Sorry, I really have no patience for incompetent people. This is my evil New Yorker head poking in. We’re in a recession people! There are plenty of intelligent people waiting to snatch up your job!

FINALLY, we got the scanner and walked around in blind confusion. Do we need this? Which brand is better? Did we register for this at Crate? Where am I? What the hell is this buttony cofangled gadget? Why are there 900 people in here at this very moment buying George Forman grills?

I started blindly zapping things anxious to be done. The place is HUGE. They also have every single invention in the universe stacked side-by-side like buddies. You see, I’m the type of nerd who sits for hours on the internet comparing reviews of gadgetry before I purchase anything. I hated blindly guessing, and knew when we got home I would have to go back and check reviews on everything. It didn’t take long for me to realize we needed to leave STAT.

Over the next week I fixed up the registries via the interwebs, and registered online at Macy’s for most of our linens/sheets and such. Three registries began to make me ill though. I started duplicating things like a dimwit. I had to go back and delete and update. Then things started going discontinued like mad. Don’t even get me started on what I’m sure will happen once the new year rolls through in a couple of months. We will probably have negative 80 items on the registries by then.

Tell me Bed, Bath, and Beyond, how is it that a BLENDER and an ELECTRONIC CORKSCREW OPENER, of all random items, goes out of stock/gets discontinued. AND, why can’t your system magically replace it with the new version 15.0? Oh, also, my vacuum that I laboriously researched went off into discontinued land. GAH! (I get it…. It’s actually the manufacturer’s fault, but whatever I need a scapegoat!)

I also recently found out that the Container Store is starting their registry program in October. Yes, THE HOLY GRAIL. (UPDATE: I just Googled it and it has officially begun!) I need EVERYTHING in the Container Store more than I need any more pots, pans, cups, or spoons. I go into the Container Store and get lost for hours. I once emerged and the seasons had changed.

So, moral of the story is: Wait to Register! Do not listen to your families’ pressure to register early. Just say no!

DISCLAIMER: No, I am not trying to be a give-me-gifts brat. I will gladly say thank you to anything people give me as a gift. Give me a damn toilet brush and I will be excited. But, registering is a HUGE freakin’-A deal around these parts. You must register or you are shunned from your family and friends for being difficult. I hate being shunned.

Anyone else hating on the registry process?

Perhaps We Should Invite the Guests

This might be a good time to start doing likeee actual stuff for the wedding, and perhaps stop whining. Since it seems, after all the vendors are booked, there are still several hundred things to do. One of those things would be invitations. Oh, you freakin’ expensive invitations, you. How I love/loathe you and your paper goodness. And, no, I do not think it is a good idea to subject myself to a “print yourself” or a “design yourself” venture. Mostly because I hate when I toss printers across the room- there are just too many pieces of plastic to pick up afterward.

Moving right along…. I’m still unsure if I want to go the full blown peacock route. Yes, that is our “theme” and all, but we also have a blue/green situation going on. Would a peacock invitation be peacock overkill? I’m trying to stay away from having the actual bird on anything. I just like the idea of the feathers. And, I could include a feather in a twine tied-up simple blue invitation. I don’t necessarily need the peacock feather imagery on it.

I originally thought “oh, I’ll just order from wedding paper divas or the like” because that’s cheap, right? WRONG. Those online invitation sites are cheapER, but certainly not cheap. I would say their prices are pretty standard if you don’t want to go ballz out with letterpress or other more expensive design options. They certainly do beat the prices of some of these invitation shops around New York. But, the savings are certainly not SO significant that I can go out and buy a new Coach tote with the difference. (I have not bought a new purse since getting engaged, 10 POINTS for ME!). My original idea of a budget for invitations was $300. Haha, oh pre-wedding planning Porcupine, you are fun-E.

The new plan is to keep it reasonable. I have a few options so far that I love (I say I and not we because Mr. Porcupine mostly will nod and agree to any invitation I show him).

Image via Wedding Paper Divas

Image via Wedding Paper Divas

Image via Wedding Paper Divas

Image via Wedding Paper Divas

Invitations by Little Spark Creations via Etsy

I love the last one the best for obvious peacock feather obsession reasons. I didn't originally want to go the pocketfold route. I feel like it's a little too formal for the rustic look we want for our wedding. I'm still on the fence on the whole thing. I can't order anything until I know our menu options after our November tasting, so I have a few more weeks to weeble wobble.

Anyone have a great invitation shop recommendation? Is a peacock invitation TOO much peacock?